Today I was at Olive Garden with my girlfriend and the waitress asked if we wanted more breadsticks and my girlfriend said no
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
I want a boyfriend
*talks to a boy*
Never mind I want chick fil a waffle fries
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
Short people be like
mexican music just like sounds drunk like you can literally smell alcohol through the speakers
You ever think you’re over something and then it’s like no, nope, still bitter. Going to live and die on this hill, this is my home now.